Into The Mists

The Plan Failed. It was a simple operation my boss said, he said it was the last one i would have to do. Well if it was so simple why was i running through the forest with an army large enough to conquer a large village after me? Things got worse quickly as I narrowly doged arrow-fire, and bareley ducked in time to avoid those tree branchs. Just when things looked to be better i bumped into an induvidual.

That individual was a chef named Celahir Nightbow. I happened to be selling quiches to lepers, because lepers like quiches. Young Alexander's situation was dire, and no quiche, however tasty and mouth watering could help us. This was no ordinary army, they were the undead legion of Velosh. A quiche could not feed this army for it was writhing flesh they wanted to consume. Alexander, you should have run the other way!

As i quickly looked around as the undead quickly closed in on our postion. having to think on my feet i quickly made a run for the river thinking that the undead wouldnt pursue me into it.

A good plan by Young Alexander. The undead hate the rushing water for their rotting flesh is stripped from their bones. Since I am an Elf, and a handsome one to boot, I jumped over the river to safety where the undead could not pursue. Unfortunately, I landed on a hive of poisonous Boom-Boom Ants. I scurried away behind a large bush before they spotted me. It is evident that they are now furious and have sent patrols to find a likely target. On one side of the river they see a drowning group of moaning zombies but their fate is inevitable, it could not have been them. "Ahhh *click* *click*, it *click* must be that *click* human" they muttered with their sharp mandibulae while they stared at Alexander. Poor Alexander, what can he do now?

So there I am in the forest collecting reagents for some spells I wanted to try out when I hear a commotion from the river. I scan the area and notice an Elf dive into some bushes. Wait I know that Elf that was Celahir but why did he jump in the bushes? I look towards the river bank and notice a nest of Boom-Boom ants that has been disturbed and its angry residence looking for the one responsible. I move around behind the bushes and come up on the left side of Celahir. "I think you made them mad when you jumped on their house." Celahir jumped, he hates it when I sneak up on him. I look towards the river again and notice Alexander climbing up onto the bank shaking an undead soldier from his boot to wash away in the river. The Boom-Boom ants begin to chatter in their strange language when they take notice of Alexander, They begin moving towards him and he hasn't noticed them yet. I move out of the bushes and summon up a wind to push the ants into a small group away from Alexander then I increase the pressure knocking the ants unconsious. "That should take care of them long enough for us to get away from their nest." I wasn't going to kill the ants just because Celahir jumped on their house, I did think about it but decided against it.

Lady Lanfear, always there like a wrinkled politician. While her attempt at heroism was successful, she brought more to the table than bad manners. You see, she was followed by something worse than exploding kamikaze ants. I have to admit that I was mesmerized by the stare and absolute fatal attraction of this new foe ... a Banshee!

Banshee's are bad luck to all that see one. On one end you have the sickle carrying Reaper made of bone and tears and in the other, doom's beauty-The Banshee. She was always there but Lanfear was too pre-occupied with her gathering.

Alexander walked over to me, still covered in the flesh of those that were and his face had fear. We know what this being means and we have seen them carry away many into what can best be described as a misty doorway. Lanfear, once again you have picked the wrong root and now it seems that the potion of the day will be ... deadly poison.

Know that we wouldnt be safe untill i got the statue into the silver safe my employer made just to hold this idol. The idol attracts all sorts of undead beings, which is how the Undead lord recruits his minions from other undead armies rather than creating his own. The banshee currently being the matter at hand, is a terrfiying foe to face, mainly due to the increadibly painful wail they use to attack the living with, its a dreadful way to go. Most undead are weak to silver, something about it breaks thier essence, it also could mask the properties of the idol currently in my possesion, this would also explain why my employer gave me quite a few silver throwing discs. Its beginning to look like we'd need them.Not that the Banshee was the least of our problems now, a rythmatic thumping from across the river alerted us to the undead warriors chopping away at a large tree to thier "hearts" content to form a bridge across the river bank. Which was odd on thier part

Here we stand us three a river on one side with angry undead trying to make a bridge out of a tree and on the other side a banshee looming at the edge of the forest. Not many choices for us at the moment seeing that any sudden moves may get that Banshee wailing. "Do either of you have a way to deal with that banshee? I need to gather my strength before I can cast again." I ask looking towards Alex and Celahir for an answer. It looks grim for us the undead horde cheers as they fell the tree they were chopping on.

This is what happens when you feed quiches to lepers. Either you get leprosy or you get chased by the undead.

On the opposite river bank the undead legion danced and jeered. Maggots and raggedy skin fall off as they attempt to do their rendition of the Moonglow two-step. Mildly entertaining but eventually they will figure out that they are still after us. Stupid is what stupid does but stupid eventually stops being stupid.

The moment at the river bank was all in slow motion. So much danger with little possibility of survival makes for the perfect story. I can see it now ... starring Celahir, Alexander and Lanfear, the three who die early in the opening chapter.

.... Naw! , not today folks.

I have something that will make the second chapter worth reading twice ... my magical skillet, The Fry Anything III. Not only can it cook a steak in 45 seconds but it is enchanted to return to me within .. you guessed it, 45 seconds. What I am trying to say is that it acts like a boomerang. If the throw is not intercepted then my plan could work. The look on Alexander's and Lanfear's faces as I threw that skillet has to be worth a clothing bless deed. The throw was perfect, of course, I threw it. The tree bridge was lifted off the water as the impact was skille-t-riffic and landed awkwardly on the shore. It began to roll towards the horde of zombies and the collision was going to be humorous.

...Aye, it was humorous.

Not only did the smelly army lay temporarily incapacitated but the tree woke up the Boom-Boom Ants and their angry exploding ... arses. There was arse everywhere. "Arse on Zombies" isn't just a new spiffy catch phrase, it's what's for dinner. As the Fry-Anything III returned, I noticed that it's charges were depleted so this maneuver can not be duplicated. Alexander and Lanfear still confused at how a skillet could save the cook suddenly realized that the day got a bit better and both drew their melee weapons. I have one more weapon in my arsenal, my magic spoon Crocko but I have one charge left on him.

Do we use Crocko now or do we have a plan on how we go about subdueing the Banshee? Hey! Did you two see that throw?! I am as they say ... perfect.

We stood on the river bank wondering what will try and kill us first the looming banshee or the bridge building undead. I meditate as fast as I can trying to replenish my magic to help solve this conundrum, when Celahir pulls out a skillet and flings it in the direction of our zombie bridge layers. The silliness of the sight broke my concentration as I watched the skillet fly, That culinary cannon slammed into the would be bridge flinging it to the shore crushing our undead threat. Celahir makes things a bit brighter with that save.
Shaking free of his astonished state Alexander draws his Sword and turns toward the banshee getting ready for the attack. I ready my claws and begin chanting a flamestrike, Celahir readys his trusty spoon.
The banshee starts to move closer "Now" I shout as my spell engulfs the banshee in dancing flames.

Even thou Cels Skillet throw bought us some time it still re awakened the Boom Boom ants,and just made the undead begin the cycle of finding a good enough tree and chopping it down again, i figure we were safe from them for a coulple of hours at least but then they called in reienforcements...and not a very good kind a worst kind actually, undead dragons! So with nothing left to do, I quickly called for my ostard and pulled out my crossbow and fired 3 bolts at the deadish dragon hoping to draw attention away from my friends, and then I i did all that was left to do.....run.

The banshee burning to a cinder in front of me fell to the ground. Just then I notice out the corner of my eye Alexander running off on the back of an ostard. I turn to see what he was running from because I thought the coast was clear behind us due to Celahir and his flying skillet. To my surprise the undead soldiers were back up and putting themselves back together, worst of all they were being joined by zombie dragons. This is where I must run as well I am not prepared to deal with zombie dragons right now, as i start to dash off into the woods I call out to Celahir to run.

Darkness blinds those with eyes and hearts. Trees harbor more than insects and Fairy doorways. Night is longer in these woods because the leafy canopy acts like a roof and blindfolds travelers on the ground. This chapter has not started out too well. My ideas don't always bear fruit but I have been able to prolong my life many times. I fear that it is time to act as they do when life begins to spiral downwards like Cove Umbrella Tree Leaves. Children wake in the arms of security and then sleep on burning plates of stone. This is what we are now.

Alexander had not thought about it a second longer, he mounted his Ostard and began to ride. The scene slowed as if it was meant to be drawn. My name being called in the background was as comforting as a bed of nails. Lanfear and my skillet began to scream for me to run like an alarm ringing at a schoolhouse. It was a moment of enlightenment. This is one of those moments when you either react correctly or you hold death's hand and walk silently to an unmarked grave. What to do?

The Banshee will not be engulfed in flames for long. Lanfear's spell has a timer and when it is spent, we will have nothing left but to run until we are tired. Then, we will be eaten or cursed. I have seen Banshee curses make friends battle each other until none are left. Running will only prolong our fate. I rather die fighting than claw tirelessly into improbable odds. The Undead legion finally got it right and now the spell's fire flickered out. The three of us ran North, away from a Gypsy Town that had many Human and Lizard-Folk children. They do not need to die this way. Alexander had scouted ahead and realized that a chasm too wide to jump now blocked our way to the other side. Check-mate. The maurauding enemy now only minutes behind us will catch us and we will be forced to climb down the chasm with no rope or climbing gear. Lanfear began to sharpen her claws and proceeded to tell a joke. She said "How many Trolls does it take to plant a seed?"
Alexander's mouth opened in disbelief that she would joke
at a time like this muttered "how many?"
Lanfear smiled and said " None", Trolls can't farm. They are too stupid to understand seed-go-in-ground.
Alexander shook his head and walked away. He stepped closer to the edge and pretended to flap his wings but then realized that he had no feathers. "Crud" , he said. Lanfear was done sharpening her nails and began talking in a strange tongue ... nothing new here, she always does this before a fight.

Time slowed a second time and once again my name was called. It was Crocko, my magic spoon ... "Dig" the spoon whispered. Of course! I had escaped once before from one of Lanfear's cruel games this way. I had digged my way to safety in the desert then and the same plan could work now. The only problem was that we had no idea what lived underneath in the walls of this chasm, and we couldn't dig forward away from it, for the weight of the Dragons would sink the ceiling above and crush us. But, it was the only thing left to do. I unleashed the spoon and in attempt to save itself like it did in the desert that time before, it began to dig through rock and dead roots. "Jump in!" Alexander screamed with a laugh. We were now on our way to ... uncertainty. What could possibly live down here? , and will the enemy now above us continue to pursue?

A large chasm in front of us and the enemy closing in from behind this was turning into a very bad day. My claws sharpened for the fight that lay ahead now it is time to channel the one power and combine it with my magic. I chant in the old tongue of my land to strengthen the power of my spells as I come to the end of my chant I notice Celahir's spoon crocko spring from his hand and begin to dig an escape passage, Alexander quickly jumps into the hole. I decide to give us a little time to get deeper under the ground, I summon my power and cast a wall of fire to hold back the undead horde. The wall is far enough from the trees they won't spread and close enough to the chasm if the horde try to run through they will fall into the chasm. I jump into the passage to follow the others where ever it leads.

I slide down the tunnel behind my fellow guildmates. I look up to check the tunnel entrence and see that it is nothing but a speck of light far above us. The earth above began to shake it must be the horde running through the wall of fire. The ground above began to cave in on the tunnel, I turned and yelled to Celahir to get crocko to dig faster before this tunnel becomes our tomb.

Crocko did not need me to pass the message along, it knew the deal. He began panting and the sound of digging became louder. Alexander began jumping up and down terrified at the thought of having to fight in such a cramped space. He drew his spear and proceeded to poison the tip so that our enemy could die loudly. This of course would make the receiver of the poison spasm all over, blocking and tripping the others as they advanced towards us. Lanfear began to daydream about this fact and let out a loud laugh. "You are a sick creature" Alexander replied as the sweat poured down his face.

*BEEP BEeb beeep* .... Crocko's power source was almost depleted but he continued to dig faster.

"This is it!", I yelled. I began flinging arrows towards the still burning undead and Alexander began thrusting his spear forward. *WOoOOo....Waaaaa*, Crocko's battery went out and in a last ditch effort to survive, it threw itself against the wall of the tunnel.

*Krgggggg .... WOOOOOOOSH*

The ground cracked, opened up and we fell in! We were falling down what seemed like a large cavern, a very deep one. As we dropped, we passed flying creatures that laughed at our demise. They were Miniature Gargoyles and they knew that once we reached our end, that they would feast on our lifeless bodies. "Not good, not good", Alexander cried.

Soooomebodyyy... dooooo, soooomethiiiing!

There are few things one can do while falling, one: they can contemplate thier lives and how they would have redone everything, two: they can try and pass out for a more peaceful death, or in our case think of some clever way to fall out of this mess, i mean honestly you didnt think the three heros would die this early in the story? Come on you know us better than that. Fortunatley for my companions i had a very simple plan for us, one:pull you legs closer to your body, two: hold open your cloak and hope it breaks your descent, and three upon landing on the ground push outward with your feat, Quickly i related the plan to my allies and hoped that it would do the job correctly.

"That sounds like a good Idea" I replied to Alexander. "I do think that we would like to see what we are falling into, wouldn't you agree?" Both Celahir and Alexander shook their heads vigorously in agreement. I launched a flair spell down towords the bottom of the cavern, the gargoyle creatures scattered at the sight of such a bright light. Not good the rocks stuck up from the ground like lances a small area was flat enought for a landing but just a little to the right was a pool of water. It must be a small cavern lake, only proble is that we don't have a clue how deep it is or how shallow for this matter. "Quickly should we try for the lake or should we try and tumble to safty on the ground?" Alexander and Celahir both stared at me blankly, This day has just gone from bad to worse at every turn.

No matter how good a plan is you should always expect somthing to go wrong. Which is why when i noticed we were only slowing down a tiny bit, it wouldnt matter where we landed we'd still end up splattered on the ground. Quickly i turned to Cel and said, " I'm sorry ahead of time mate, I cast Flare", The blinding light hi cel right in the face and while rubbing his eyes said," Ouch why'd you do that?!", I quickly replied, " just testing something". Another perhaps even better than my previous ideas combined hit me, i quickly casted polymorph and turned into a gargoyle and motioned for Lanfear and Cel to turn into something that could fly or float in the air.

Alex polymorphed into a gargoyle and yelled for Cel and myself to morph into a creature that can fly or float. I decided that this was the best idea that any of us had come up with today. I channeled my power and morphed into a Demon, This form will let me fly and will intimidate the other creatures in this cavern.

You foooooools! I have no Maaaageryyyyyyy...

What kind of chef are you Cel no magery? Tsk i can no longer call you a chef, if you cant polymorph, then turn into a wraith, or go for the old clergy spell.I feel asheamed to call you a chef now.

Dropping down a cavern can do things to the brain. In my case, my brain
went on extreme alert. In my bag I could hear Crocko screaming "Fly! do
something, we're all going to die!", but I was too far down now.
Lanfear and Alexander had spared themselves but I had ran out of ideas.


I thought about the pretty Elf sorceress that I saw everyday in
Vesper. She sold Mandrake Root and Ginseng and used the profits to fund
her brothers illegal mining operation. That is so sweet! I remember the
day I approached her, she slapped me in my face. She then said to me
"Drop De...." ...THAT'S IT! ...drop dead! I could kiss her, but she
would probably strike me with a lightning bolt, and also..she's not
here right now..of course.

My skillet has a special feature, and it does not need power to pull it off. A
Half-Troll engineer named Bakka had installed a "Marshmallow Deathbag".
You see he owed me a bunch of money since I catered his wedding to an
ugly Orc Huntress....

*starts to imagine their offspring and shivers*

.....and
since he couldn't pay, he told me that if I ever stopped breathing that
my skillet would panic and cover me in a bubble of tasty fluff. I
pitied him because of his uglyness, so I agreed. I am as forunate as I
am kind as I am handsome...

*starts to picture himself in silk robes and an eyebrow raises*

..oh
yeah, I am in danger! *holds breath and plays dead* ... suddenly a
WHOOOMP surrounds me and I begin to drop faster with the extra weight.
UGH!, I hit the ground, but I am fine. This is good..this is .....

NOT GOOD!

My actions have not gone unnoticed. The miniature gargoyles began to fly
towards me at the promise of a yummy marshmallow snack with the
possibility of an Elf creamy center. That isn't the only thing down
here...Zapper Bugs came out of their burrows and began to shock the
gargoyles to gain the best feeding spots. These bugs are used by Ogre's
as a lighting source since they are too stupid to pick their own
boogers to make candles. The gargoyles though small, had little
pitchforks, and since they weren't very smart, began to pick at the
bugs. Who would have thought that a lightning rod would start a fire?
Me, actually!

Uh huh...who brought the chocolate?, Smores anyone?

So now I am roasting alive inside a sticky cocoon of sugar. Zapper bugs
and gargoyles everywhere and no way out. Lanfear!!! Alexander!!!
HEEEEEEEEELP!

I descend to the cave floor in my demon form and notice a flaming puff that is screaming for help. Celahir what have you gotten yourself into now? So I approach the mess that had Ceahir in the center, the gargoyles scattered at the sight of my demon form and a few pain spikes cleared out the zappers who fled back to their nests.

Now what do I do with this flaming goo? Alexander I will need you to break Celahir out once I freeze the marshmallow to douse the flames. I concentrate and "AN FLAM!" the air in the cavern becomes very chill and the fire goes out as the charred fluff hardens.

" Do i have to break him out??"
" Yes!"
"Alright then,"
I quickly pulled out my Flameberge and smack the goo pile dead center with the flat of the blade, causing a very wide crack to form and allowing the elven chef to escape. the very moment he exited, i turned to observe my surroundings. " Uh guys...., we need to go NOW"
as i instantly recognized the place we were in, we were in the lai of something far worse than any undead horde, and i would much rather fight the horde than stumble across him. My drow brother! An even more skilled swordsman than i was and is responsible for flameberges for them having that particular name, I figured it was best to get out as soon as possible.